Helping Others To Help YOU
I n my previous blog post, I mentioned about being a good receiver. There is a distinct difference between a good receiver and a typical taker. It is amazing to give unconditionally but we need to learn how to be useful without being used as well so that we can live abundantly and help others too.
Recently, a fellow church mate reached out to me for help. She is serving in the church ministry and is ministering to the elderly in an Old Folks’ Home.
So it happened that she wanted to teach them how to sing a Mandarin Christian Song but has difficulties in getting the lyrics right as she is not a Chinese. Hence she messaged for me to help her write down the Hànyǔ Pīnyīn (English pronunciations) for the song.
I wouldn’t mind helping her as I had always assisted her with the Hànyǔ Pīnyīn when we were serving in the church choir. However, this time round, she pasted me a youtube link of a choir singing the song. It is inconvenient for me to open the video on my phone as I was outside so I requested for her to copy + paste the Chinese lyrics over so I can get work out the Hànyǔ Pīnyīn for her on my phone.
She was hesitant to do so as it meant extra work for her. So after a while, she forwarded me a screenshot of the Hànyǔ Pīnyīn done for her. Apparently she approached another church sister to do it for her.
I felt annoyed at first because of the fact that she approached myself and another sister (there might be more) to help her for the same thing. Also, the fact that she took it for granted that we have the luxury to watch the video in front of a desktop and write down the Hànyǔ Pīnyīn for her irks me.
How To Help Others To Help You?
It’s totally alright to ask others for help. It’s nothing shameless, really. However, when we ask people for help, we ought to do our part so that others find it easier to help us.
Do Your Part
For instance, if you’re cooking a dish and are unsure how to marinate the meat. You could’ve done the preparation work like wash the vegetables / chopping the meat whilst waiting for help to come your way. It is just a lack of initiative to wait for somebody to help you complete the steps from A-Z when you probably know how to complete A-D by yourself.
If you get somebody to help you complete A-Z for you, chances are you will never learn and need the same help over again.
Vice versa, if we know that the person we are helping is capable of doing other simple steps, there is no reason why we should not request for them to complete it. It simply doesn’t feel good to be taken advantage of right?
Be Sincere When Asking For Help
If you genuinely need help, be sincere and humble enough to reach out to somebody who is in a better position to help.
Do not go around asking everybody to help – chances of them helping you is slim because they might be under the impression that you are not sincere. This is not an auction, do not make your helpers bid for your help.
If you are sincere, approach your helper individually. If he / she is unable to help, you then proceed to ask another for help and inform him / her that you will be seeking another person for help. This is plain courtesy.
Be gracious at all times. Even if the helper failed to help you in the end.
At least he / she went out the extra mile to help you and he / she deserves the respect rendered. Sometimes things go wrong and that is not within our control.
Never bite the hand that feed you.
Dealing with Takers
In my eBook “10 Simple Steps to Living Abundantly“, I mentioned to distance yourself away from takers who suck the life out of you.
Does that mean you need to reject their pleas for help totally? Well, not necessarily so…
Get Them To Work
You may turn the situation around and request for them to help themselves along the way. For instance you can GUIDE them along the way and only lift your fingers when they fumble. It takes a hell lots of patience and love to “teach them how to fish” but the level of satisfaction is a lot higher if they mastered the skill as a result of your guidance.
Perhaps it makes you happier because you get to ‘boss’ them around without lifting your fingers too. 😂
The taker vibes is too strong? Just turn your back towards them.
Who knows they might have obtained help from another unsuspecting ‘prey’ without you having to dirty your hands to help them?
Your time is precious, spend it wisely on more value-added tasks.
Tell Them Off
Sometimes, takers are simple people who take things for granted.
Perhaps they didn’t mean to take advantage of you but they are just lazy.
If they are still coachable, perhaps you can tell them nicely how you feel about them and how their attitude annoys you.
Perhaps they would be a better receiver in future.
What is Your Take?
Have you dealt with takers in your life before?
Feel free to share your experiences in the comment box down below!
To More Abundance in Your Life